1. “Oh my gosh! You got two for the price of one.”
I sheepishly smile at you and pretend you are hilariously creative and witty. Inside I am suppressing the twitch my body has involuntarily started to form from hearing this so many times.
2. “C-Section right? There’s no way it was a natural birth!”
It was a C-Section, but it is none of your god damn business. You are a stranger. I am sure you would feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger about what has happened to your reproductive organs and vagina in any context.
3. “Do twins naturally run in your family?”
You’re asking me if I had fertility help in a nice way aren’t you? I know this but you are too polite to come out and say it, yet too ballsy for your own good.
4. “My sister has a friend who has a niece that had twins.”
Or always some variation of this. Someone always has to say how they obscurely know someone who has had twins. Twin moms really don’t care who you know who has twins. Well almost, we care if it is someone from the list below which I like to call the Holy Trinity (All actual twin moms).
The Holy Trinity of Twin Moms:
In the name of the….
Mother: Jennifer Lopez
Daughter: Sarah Jessica Parker
and the Holy Spirit: Angelina Jolie
We pray for Julia Roberts our Bishop and Ricky Martin our Pope
With that said being a twin mom is something that only few of us gain rite to. Bring on the bullshit chit-chat because having these two are the best!